I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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