i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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