Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
