Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
