I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They have beer where we have blood.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
