Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
