By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
