please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
