yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
