we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
