your thong is hanging out like whoa
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
