We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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