Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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