She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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