i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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