your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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