we have pet lesbian snakes
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
