This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
