Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
