So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
