My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
