is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
