i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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