You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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