ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
