so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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