I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
