How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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