Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
