oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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