VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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