white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
