I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
