I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
