I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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