You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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