Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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