Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
