Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she smelled like a LAN party
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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