the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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