Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I believe in your delicious
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
