I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
