I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
