put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
