that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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