Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
