party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize