Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
