I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
