This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
