If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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