P.S. I can't hear my feet
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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