batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There r osticjed everywhere
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
