Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
