I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
