these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
