Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
