I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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