just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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