Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
