I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
