we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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