Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
