really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The air was thick with penises
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
