is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
