If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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