tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
