your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
