Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
