I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
