I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
