My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
