So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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