She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
