Your tits are I can't wait for
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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