I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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