So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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