The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I must be too annoying 4 u.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
