A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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