Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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